Only the STRONG Survive.

Only the Strong Will Survive.

You’ll be ok.

You’re a strong person.

I’m sure you can handle this.

If we had a dollar for every time we heard one of these phrases.

People mean well, and may even believe what they are saying about us to be true, but if they only knew how complex our emotions really are….

On any given day, I want to tell well-meaning friends and family that I’m also weak, sad, anxious, grieving and so much more.  This journey has taught me that it’s ok to be both.  When people perceive me as strong or use it as encouragement when I share any signs of weakness or vulnerability, I often interpret their words as if they are saying “that’s not you, get it together” or that I can’t be weak or vulnerable.  I am supposed to be strong and handle things well.  I am supposed to put my “big girl” panties on.

Tyrece and I heard so many times “you are the best for this” or “you guys are a great couple to handle this” when Trace was first diagnosed or when people learn about his diabetes for the first time.  It almost felt like people were saying “I’m so glad God picked you for this trial” or “you and Tyrece are the best for this pain and grief”.  If that’s the case, this is one instance where I don’t want to be the best, I’ll take being the worst if that’s how God determines who has to go through things. 

I often find myself jumping right into action when there is a problem that needs solved in my life or in my family’s life. I think deeply about things, analyze or over analyze, then I jump into solution mode.  Is this a good trait to have? Absolutely.  

Oh but what peace we often forfeit………

When I rush to my own aid, I don’t get the peace of resting in God and letting Him begin to work. I don’t get to be vulnerable with myself, my husband, my friends because they just see action or my version of “handling of things”.

When I slowed myself down and allowed myself to get real with God, He had to show me that it is ok to be strong, confident or sure while going through a storm because it is His strength, confidence and security in Him that is getting me through.  BUT…it is also ok to be weak, tired, unsure of the next moment because I am not responsible for my own strength, my own confidence, it ALL comes from Him.  God showed me that all of the things people said they saw in me or in us were attributes He has put in me and us so that others see His strength.  He is using us to encourage others and direct them back to Him for their own 2am journeys!